One year ago from today, I set in the hospital room with my Dad during his final moments of life. He fought till the very end. That morning I was amazed that he ate his breakfast and later I found that none of it was going down. His body was shutting down. He was fighting to stay alive. The nurse ask me if he was waiting on someone, because the end was very near. I remember feeling shocked. I don't know if I was in denial, not wanting to let him go. I felt we were going to get through this battle one more time.We had made many trips to the hospital over the past ten months.
I called the rest of the family to come. And shortly there after, they moved him to Intensive Care for his privacy....his final hours. I watch his breathing become slower and slower until that one last breath. One year ago today.
I didn't know if today would be hard. I woke up and thought about him first thing this morning. But, I wake and think of him very often. Sometimes in the middle of the night. Driving down the road. I'm still missing him. We grew closer in the past eleven years after my Mother passed away. I felt a responsibility to look after him. I cooked for him often. His favorite thing for me to cook was roast and potatoes. So, I felt the thing to do was to fix that meal in remembrance of him. It comforted me.